If at the beginning of the relationship we wanted to hug our partner all the time, over time this behavior is used less often or is forgotten. But why do we have a great desire to embrace all the time at the beginning of a relationship and then the number of hugs decreases with the number of years spent together?
Many people tell their loved ones that for them a hug is worth more than a thousand words, why is hugging so crucial in a relationship and what are its benefits?
To answer this question, we have to think about the first minutes and days of a baby’s life. When we are little, the first sense that develops is the tactile one, we need touch, that’s how we know that we are not alone, that we are not abandoned, and that we receive affection, that’s why many times a child cries just to be held by his mother and immediately calms down.
A study was even carried out regarding abandoned children and they were divided into two groups: in the case of one of the groups food was provided but without touching, and the other group was provided with food but the babies were also held. The conclusion of the study was the following: the babies who were held gained more weight than the others.
If in childhood we want the hugs of our parents, grandparents, and those close to us, in adolescence and adulthood we get involved in a relationship as a couple but also as a friend and offer affection through hugs, time passes too quickly when we hug the person we love. Of course, we can talk about a multitude of types of hugs depending on what we want to convey through it, namely:
1. Hugging goodbye (this is common for friendships but also for couples): when we meet the person we love, we hug them to show that we love them, and we miss them, but also to tell them how much they mean to us. In the case of a couple relationship, the embrace is completed by a kiss, and the partners feel merged.
2. The nocturnal hug – it is characteristic of the couple’s relationship but also the one between child and parent. I will deal more with its importance for the couple: in the silence of the night what is more pleasant than feeling that your partner hugs you, feeling the warmth of his body, you feel loved and at the same time protected. I love when I wake up at night to hug my partner and I am happy when she tells me in the morning that she felt my touch and that she slept so well.
3. The morning hug – the alarm clock bothers us when it reminds us of a new day of work, but it’s as if we get energy when our partner wakes us up with a hug, we feel loved, protected and I could say women…nothing matters anymore and we don’t it can spoil the good mood.
4. Hugging at the beginning of the sexual act and during it – through this type of hugging, partners convey the sexual desire, the need for physical closeness, and merging with the partner.
5. Hugging after the completion of the sexual act – is very much desired by women and their body releases the hormone of affectivity – oxytocin. Its level is much higher in women involved in a relationship than in single women, causing an increase in self-confidence and a state of calm but also having an important role in the process of falling in love. In women this hormone meets estrogen, hence the need for women to be physically close after sexual intercourse, and in men, it meets testosterone, which is why the man falls asleep after intercourse.
6. Hugging in stressful conditions – each of us faces more difficult situations every day and at home, we want a partner who listens to us and hugs us because that’s how we calm down. But our partner also needs to calm down, let’s give him the peace he needs but also affection.
The certainty that there are many more types of hugs in a couple’s relationship, but not their multitude is important, but the fact that partners are aware of its importance. A woman needs affection, a state of security that can be conferred on her by her partner and through a hug, and a man needs trust, peace, and affection. Don’t forget the power of non-verbal language in a relationship and how much good a hug does, don’t turn into two flatmates.