Casual sex is great in theory, but for most people, it doesn’t seem to work. Abortions, broken hearts, and an acute sense of disappointment are often the result of such behavior. The heart, the mind, the sexuality, are all part of the whole human being, you cannot make love with someone you don’t like, you don’t trust or you don’t understand without having deeply unnatural feelings. You cannot make love from the waist down, keeping your heart and head out of the equation, perhaps only at the cost of serious suffering.
Fast food is easy to make and looks, when you look at it, better than it is. Just as quality food is prepared leisurely and with care, quality love requires enough time to get to know your partner as a person. “Fast” sex, like fast food, leaves you malnourished. In addition, quick sex is not limited to single people. Many stable couples have given up on healthy food and content themselves, so to speak, with a pizza diet.
The expression “making love” appeared to poetically describe an ideal that we all seek. When your sex life is fine, you know your partner and you feel that he is right for you, then your heart opens, your mind opens, and your sexual organs open so that your partner can be received by you on all levels. Once you’ve made “love”, just having “sex” will be unsatisfying.
DESIRE / ATTRACTION – IS YOUR PARTNER LIKE YOUR FAVORITE DESSERT?
Eros and that’s it. In a relationship, there must be chemistry and desire for a partner (if you have to muster up the courage every time you make love, it means you are with the wrong person). Your partner is like your favorite dessert: when you eat it, you satisfy your appetite, but the next day the appetite reappears with the same force; the body demands more and the pleasure is renewed.
Couples who work well together devour each other out of love and make eroticism a pleasant and sympathetic game. Common and well-managed fantasies presuppose team imagination: mutual eros. When eros is present, the candle will always be lit: a spark is enough to trigger the explosion. What happens if Eros goes out for no apparent reason? You must intervene quickly, because once extinguished it is practically impossible to recover it.
Couples who become victims of routine change their initial impulse, lively and energetic, with mechanical and almost always boring sexuality, which seriously damages eros: without any surprise or little madness, sex becomes predictable, boring, and sometimes grotesque.
If the dynamic is as follows or something similar, urgently ask for help: He: “Are you in the mood?” She: “Well, I don’t have it… Besides, I have a cold… But if you can’t do it anymore, we’ll do it…” She undresses, he unloads, she bears it: mission accomplished and they move on. This is not eros! The lack of coquetry, exhibitionism, greed, a few screams, the assumption of some roles, and the equipment, in short: the carnal part does not replace sensuality. Asking for sex is undignified; do it with reluctance, it’s depressing.